Godzilla: Final Wars (2004)

Godzilla: Final Wars was the 50th Anniversary for Godzilla and a retirement for Big G from that era. Despite the improved CGI in other areas of the movie we were still treated to guys in rubber suits stomping around and grappling each other.

This was almost non-stop Kaiju battles as monsters from the previous 50 years showed up to do battle with Godzilla, including the abomination from the US Godzilla (1998). A who’s who of monsters from the Godzillaverse---Hedorah, Rodan, Kamacuras, King Ghidorah, Manda, the aforementioned Zilla and many others. Mothra even showed up to bat clean-up with Gigan.

There was a lot to love in this movie. The humans were the most interesting of any of the Godzilla movies I’ve watched. It had aliens and mutant humans and futuristic weapons. Kitamura Kazuki as a bad alien with even badder guyliner was over the top. He looked like he was having as much fun making the movie as I had watching it. Don’t expect Oscar worthy performances, it’s not that kind of movie.

How could I not love a Godzilla movie that included my second favorite niche genre-kung fu in it?

Yes, the story could be a bit of a mess, but was easy to follow. The director unashamedly included a lot of the science fiction fads from previous years, the Matrix, Star Wars, Independence Day, Alien, and Jules Verne, among others. Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn’t. No doubt there were moments of pure cheese. They also must have spent most of their money on the monsters, sets, and CGI because the music sounded like some guy hitting random notes on a synthesizer. The non-stop action from beginning to end could be draining and there were times when Godzilla was absent during a lot of the action with other monsters and the aliens. However, when Godzilla did appear, he showed why he was a force to be reckoned with.

Godzilla: Final Wars features guys in rubber suits and miniaturized cities and vehicles, just as the Godzilla Genie intended them to be from this era. On Godzilla’s 50th anniversary and retirement, it was appropriate. Final Wars was a monster mash that was fun and entertaining from beginning to end.

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I am a big Godzilla fan. I remember watching quite a few old movies on t.v. when I was a kid. Let's face it though. All Godzilla movies are cheesy, but that's what makes them so awesome. Godzilla Final Wars is cheesy. However, it is not, in any shape or form, awesome. At all. While older Godzilla movies are bad in a fun, entertaining and great way, Final Wars is bad in a....well...bad, God-awful way.

My biggest complaints about this movie, besides most everything, are as follows:

First off, Godzilla is supposed to be the star of the show, so to say. Unfortunately, I felt like he was more of a side character. The movie was more about the humans and the human-like xians rather than Godzilla or all the other monsters. They are there, yes, but spend only a measly amount of time in the movie blowing stuff up and fighting with Godzilla. In fact, the monster fight scenes are less than two minutes at a time. They are over quickly after a lick or two from Godzilla, and on to the next scene with the humans and xians. It's a big let down. The only exception to this is the final monster fight with Godzilla vs. King Gidorah. That one is appropriately longer and is actually rather cool, though I don't remember King Gidorah being a vampire. :\

Next is the special effects. Now, everyone knows going into a Godzilla movie not to expect anything fancy. The lack of good special effects, in my opinion, has always enhanced the greatness of the movies. Here, though. Oh lordy. >_< They seem to have wanted to go for the CGI stuff except...not with most of the monsters. So here you have some really obviously expensive special effects, all devoted to the human-mutant-xians combat stuff and the alien space ship. Some of it did look kind of cool. But then you have.....all the monsters old school. And what I mean by old school is that they are either mechanical or people in rubber suits. >_< I kid you not. It is that obvious. There is one monster that is CGI and that is Manda in the beginning, though King Gidorah at the end seems to be at least partially CGI in his introduction scene, as well. It's like they spent their budget on the special effects already and when it got time to create the monsters all they had left to use was fifty cents. >_< Also, as an added bonus, some of the enemy monsters liked to strike a dramatic pose ala Mighty Morphin Power Rangers right before they attacked Godzilla. Smh.

You know, really I could go on listing stuff, like how bad the cast was, the really horrible and corny one liners they liked to throw out there, like "Sorry I'm a vegetarian" right before impaling Ebirah, but there are just too many horribly bad things to list. There was one good thing, I will say. Mothra makes an appearance. That's about the only good thing I can say for Final Wars. Oh wait. Minilla was there too and was pretty cute. There. Two things. Wish I could say there were more positives but I can't. It's just embarrassing. After watching, I just want to hug Godzilla and tell him it's not his fault.

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