Wo Zhi Dao Wo Ai Ni (2023)

when breaking up with your ex becomes mission impossible...

[lots of spoilers here]
I saw a comment underneath one of the episodes that perfectly sums up everything you need to know about this drama: "it's as if they(leads) live in a pool with piranhas, everyone around them bites a piece of their heart"

My anticipation for this drama was high and I could not wait to finally binge it but a mere few episodes in I was already questioning my time spent sitting in front of the TV.
I like risque dramas, give me complex characters that make poor decisions out of their willful heart and melodramatic back and forths... yet all IKILY made me feel was "hmm..." and "interesting..." - but not the good kind of interesting.

But first the positive: THE best thing about this drama are the CATS! This is the first time I actually saw cats looking super happy on screen, constantly demanding pets and cuddles. Totally adorable!
Visually the drama is pretty too, it’s not dubbed which is very pleasant and the opening OST 我知道我愛你- 韓紅 is very beautiful, low key but pact with emotion. Would have been PERFECT for a historical tragedy drama or Wuxia.

To put it simply, there would be no story had it not been for the absurd EX and every disapproving family member (both her side of the family and her ex's). Those are supposed to be additives yet here it is the main story. Take out everyone but the leads and they would have been together in like 2 episodes - happy ending!
Even for a remake of ONS, it should not be THAT easy. If the entire story of a romantic(!) drama depends on supporting roles to work, it's just not a good story/script.

The ML is very kind, the fact that he fell for someone who was still in a relationship doesn't really fit that but I have to admit I did enjoy parts of their romance especially around ep18-19. The writing between the 2 leads is also quite good. I'd say it's a love story between a guy that is too good for his own good, and a very human, more self centered (but not selfish) FL. A quote by her fits perfectly "I made you a sinner for no reason". Because neither of them would have had to feel bad had she set proper boundaries at any given point.

I tried and tried again to sympathize with Xuo Nuo but it was just impossible to beat the unfavorable script writing.
After the 10th "surprise" phone call from her ex in front of ML I gave up trying to be on her side. Don't get me wrong - I didn't hate her but the whole fun about dramas that involve emotional cheating is trying to justify their feelings and the constant thrill and angst about possibly getting caught. But in the case of this drama it can only be considered emotional cheating because the ex does not accept the break up... had it not been for that the drama would have ended at EP9. But they drag it out sooo much, just to keep the "forbidden" feel of the lead's relationship alive, which makes it feel incredibly forced and draggy. That feeling is only solidified by highly questionable actions and lack of sense regarding Peng Yu An's character.

The big elephant in the room of this drama is her Ex Boyfriend Peng Yu An, who is one awfully written character. At first I thought okay he is just your average douche bag. But then I was like oh okay so he actually does love her in a messed up way? And then back to okay just a jerk and so it goes back and forth. I don't think it's fair to write him off as the cheater because they both did it (emotionally). His interests were business, hers were of the heart kind.
He differs in a way from other similar characters, as he does not accept nor acknowledge the FL breaking up with him in the most delulu way that even a soap opera would not think of. Telling people he will marry her and such. But then going back to tell someone else he will break up with her as she does not fit his family's standards, while also telling her he wants to marry her?? Expressing his dislike for the woman his father chose for him. Then proclaiming his true love for FL again, while also promising his business partner they will marry?? What is going on, haha. Honestly I can understand his dad not taking him seriously in any of his endeavors regarding love.
There are also countless other characters that want to keep apart the leads, but I shouldn't spoil everything...

Again - I feel like I need to defend my stance here because every episode I thought to myself I WANT TO LOVE THIS but I JUST can't :( ... it was always 10% off course in the most annoying way. Where everything started to piss me off a little. Did I end up hate watching? - slightly. But also I don't hate it completely... I did enjoy parts.

ENDING SPOILER
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Ending was weak but happy. Literally everyone who was nasty af before suddenly accepted reality without even a moment of realization, just straight up "okay this is the finale, let's turn 180 degrees and be happy". The ex's ending to me is neither good nor bad but definitely too short. Initially I thought it was defeat with a bit of hope for his own future (becoming more aware of his own hobbies, breaking free) but now I think he just gave in, he won't care what that woman thinks. He just picked the first common interest and went with it. I highly doubt he actually moved on. And to be quite frank... I don't trust the script writers of this drama would actually be smart enough(in the context of this drama) to write a complex ending for him. He was but a massive plot device.


Some inconsistencies, that aren't really that big of a deal but I still wanted to mention it (spoilers):

- why did everyone look down on him for being a vet? Even he himself said he is "just" a vet. Don't these people know veterinary medicine takes longer to study than human medicine?
- the timeline of his age, their struggles growing up and him becoming a vet doesn't make sense.
- it was early-late winter the entire drama, do they really want to tell us multiple couples fall in love within 3-4 months and marriage is already topic nr1? What's the rush.
- pulling a "the fault in our stars" move for that one couple was cheap. It was wrapped up too fast to actually have an emotional impact. That entire story line was unnecessary and out of place.
- the english OST was a pain after hearing it one too many times each episode. Dreamed about a dream that I just dreamed? Julie, Julie I don't feel good today? Lord have mercy!

Tbh this drama is the kind of backstory quarreling parents of leads in other dramas have... not sure if that is something to aspire.

Ultimately I still gave it a 7/10... why? Because that's pretty much my lowest rating for dramas I finished and didn't hate but rather found disappointing and meh.

Edit a few days later: There is one scene that bugged me a lot and probably influenced my rating. If you are a romance lover or like the leads you might really like this drama. All my ranting in this review goes to say, that this is just my opinion and someone else might love it. HOWEVER here goes the scene near the end that made me very frustrated with the writers:
ML is drunk, sitting at his bed and having a very pitiful look. FL goes into his apartment and sees his ex made him some sobering up tea (note: the ex did not drink with him she just saw him downstairs and brought him to his apartment), she leaves once FL is here and they don't have any quarrel or anything. FL goes to ML bedroom and I thought she would go comfort him... boy I thought wrong. He is in a sorry, close to tear like state and asks her "will you leave me too?" (hinting how a lot of people in his life have left him before). FL, instead of comforting him, asks him twice "what do you mean?" "don't you trust me?"... it was so obviously a vulnerable side of him he showed and also drunk talk but she took it very seriously and instead of comforting him, she got mad and left. GURL WHAT. For all the scenes we saw before, the only logical thing would have been for her to tell him that he doesn't have to fear that and comfort him... as a means to portray some healing... and show a difference compared to the people that actually did leave him. But no she does the exact-opposite. Resulting in a short separation at the end, which was just very unnecessary and forced. I know FL mentioned a few times in this drama that she is not as good as a person as ML and such but that was very out of line. She knew he was drunk and he said so very pitifully... mans just needed comfort. Why take it so seriously? And even if she was so hurt by it... talk it out during the day, don't try and argue with a drunk person when you are sober. end.

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