My Favorite Show, Maybe Ever

Right off, I'll admit this isn't a perfect show for everyone, despite my rating - if you don't like ugly (and arguably overdramatic) crying, you might have a hard time with this one - but for me, this is everything I want in a show and more. This is a perfect show for me. Here are some of my highlights:

MUSIC
Having multiple versions of the main song is really clever, and the two leads of this show are both genuinely good singers. The soundtrack is really cohesive and adds to the emotion, pulling you further into the story. I love that they foreshadowed the track at the very end with instrumental versions of it! Overall, a very versatile and well-utilized soundtrack in my opinion.

ACTING/CAST
Honestly, I don't know much at all about acting but I really enjoyed watching the subtle expressions on the actors' faces during emotional scenes. I'll admit some of the crying felt over the top for me but it's not enough of a bother to knock down my score... and I do think I'd rather have it this way than have it not feel genuine. I'm not a very emotional person myself but I have cried just as dramatically, especially as a high schooler, so I don't think it's entirely unrealistic. The thing is, for me, for every over-the-top scene, there are at least ten scenes that had my eyes glued to the screen, that had me feeling more emotions than I have in months. So I don't mind it much at all.

Another note: I was actually impressed with the actor and actress who played Bas and Tarn. Bas didn't have many lines but he expressed a lot in little gestures and subtle expressions.

STORY (big spoilers below, only read if you've already watched!)
You see a character without a father and a traditional mother struggling to even identify his own feelings because in his household, making mom proud is the most important thing. You see him struggling to express his affection in words because that's not how his family communicates with him. You see him giving away pieces of himself that he shouldn't give away because he hasn't learned any other way to give love. And that's my defense of Teh, who is a little bit stupid about what most people view as common sense and also quite dramatic - but consistently so. He's doing his best and while Oh-aew learns Chinese, Teh is learning the language of emotion.

And on the flip side, you see a kid with no ambition, no motivation to succeed, and you see him find a friend, and that friendship leads him to finding a dream, a goal. He isn't motivated by money; he's motivated by emotion, and in a well-off and verbally supportive family, without an older brother to compete against, that's just fine. When young Teh needed a friend, young Oh-aew needed a rival. He learns that he can succeed and flourish, he is enough, and even though he has a tendency to give up, his ability to persevere for the sake of love is almost unmatched. I don't think I need to defend Oh-aew because everyone loves him, but here's me fleshing out the complexities of why he has the privilege of carefree love and Teh does not.

And Oh and Teh have different definitions of rival. Oh doesn't have anything to compare it to, whereas Teh imagines that rivals can only have one winner between them - at home, it's always Hoon who wins, and this is reflected in the glimpse we have of Yongjian's story, too, where there can only be one winner, according to destiny. Oh doesn't buy into that so much. His definition of rival isn't mutually exclusive with friend. In fact, I would argue that Oh needs some rivalry to get the most out of a friendship - he needs someone to push him. For all of Bas being a perfect human being, he can't push Oh-aew the way Teh does.

Anyway. I have an infinite love for Bas and want him to be happy, he did so much with very few lines. If I had to choose a favorite I think it would be him. Having such a mature character in contrast to Oh and especially Teh was a smart decision to balance out the show and ensure that Teh is viewed as an especially dramatic individual, rather than viewing the show as being dramatic as a whole.

If I had to choose a "best character," it would have to be Tarn, who is such a complex and multi-faceted individual. She embodies the balance that Teh and Oh are both looking for: driven to succeed in her individual goals, but refusing to push love entirely aside without a deadline. And you know what? Between her and Teh's mom, I think we get a tiny bit of commentary on gender roles and even sexism. Tarn's hesitance at being forward with Teh, her regret, the feeling like it was her fault, it's reflected in social gender roles. Compare her to Teh's mom, who insists on relying on a man financially - if not her husband, then her sons. There's a generational shift there, but no magical, complete fix. I love that and I love Tarn for being real with her feelings and strong in her support and genuine in her love.

I love that Oh never once condemned Teh for not coming out as gay. They argued, but it was never because of that, not really. It was over Teh's lack of ownership towards his actions. That's important.

The interaction of gender and sexuality. That bra scene really, really got me. 1. I've never seen that very real struggle portrayed in any show before. 2. On a larger scale, it represents so well the triviality of gender boundaries (no, I don't think this was intentional; yes, I still love it with my whole heart). 3. The connections between that scene and the scene when Teh and Oh were driving in the sidecar and Tarn's scenes with her bra gave me chills.

A freaking coming out scene. A vulnerable, raw, sopping-wet-with-teras coming out scene. With a sibling. Can't express how much I was hoping for this, can't express how much it surpassed my expectations.

Sadness as an indicator of love. Bas, Oh, and even Teh, I think, all realize their feelings when the one they love is hurting. This is such an interesting idea, that we know we're feeling real love when we want to do everything in our power to stop another person from hurting. And I really don't disagree with this. It's easy to love someone when things are good and going well. It's harder when they're hurting, even more so when you're the one hurting them. And in the end, that's a big part of what Teh and Oh come to understand: they hate hurting one another. That's what clicks and has them both saying they'll always try to reach out. They won't disappear again. That was somehow more romantic than their deciding to date. To say: I prioritize your happiness over my own pride.

Symmetry. In episode, what, two? When Oh likes Bas and Teh says he'll start hitting on Oh, Oh looks to Bas to see his reaction. And then later, towards the end, Bas confesses to Oh and Oh looks to Teh, to see his reaction. Such a small detail, but magical in its own little way. In episode 1, young Oh asks Teh if he would've given up playing Yongjian for Oh. Later, Oh reproaches Teh for not going through the admission system, and in episode 4. And finally, in episode 4, Teh does everything that he thought Oh wanted him to do. He gives it all up. When his good intentions are rejected, it's like reliving their childhood fight all over again: making himself vulnerable only to receive (what he interprets to be) rejection in return. And on the flipside, Oh's first thought is their childhood fight, too: Teh said "someone like you will give up eventually," and Oh believes that Teh still looks down on him in that same way.

PRODUCTION
It's hard to even separate it from the Story/Writing section because - as it should - all of the production decisions in this show are to support the development and portrayal of the story. An example: going through the massive trouble of filming an underwater kiss wasn't just for the sake of drama or a beautiful backdrop, it's symbolic of the characters' hidden relationship, as well as Teh's reluctance to acknowledge his feelings for Oh-aew, even to himself. It's all about hiding, and shame, and fear. This narrative is furthered when Bas confesses to Oh in public, in front of their friends, and explicitly says (at least twice) that he isn't ashamed or shy about his love for Oh. Oh's surprise at this really drives the point home.

I have less experience and knowledge of production than of story crafting, and people have already expressed a lot of this, so I'll keep this relatively short. I think the production is what really made me feel things as strongly as I did while watching this show. The colors, the framing, and the angles and lighting, it all worked to pull me into every scene, to really convince me that I was right there with the characters on the screen.

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