There has never been a drama that so accurately depicts what happens when someone who has a very clear case of clinical narcissism is given such a degree of power. Narcissists are known for constantly gaslighting others, projecting their negative traits onto others, belittling and demeaning people to make them vulnerable for the narcissist's "empowerment", having a bunch of "mini-me's" to support your massive ego and assist in the gaslighting/projecting, delusions of grandeur / god complex, never being able to admit the capability of making a mistake, perpetual obscene emotional/physical trauma, always ready to play sick games with people for amusement, an amazing commitment to ferocious and barbarous anger/temper, and much more. Narcissists also view relationships to be a position of "ownership". They do not view relationships, especially romantic ones, to be a commitment towards one another. No, narcissists believe relationships exist for the sole purpose of the narcissist to "own" that person. Narcissists are practically lost, troubled, pathetic souls who are stuck in a small emotional cage; they completely lack any empathy whatsoever (some of them don't even understand what empathy even means). Narcissism is the complete antithesis to the empath personality. Due to these severe personal failures, narcissists are rarely capable of holding any relationships with people who share even a smidgen of empathy. If the narcissism is treated early through therapy, there may be hope; however, as time goes on, a narcissist's negative traits become worse as they get older, and they often become incredibly suspicious of anyone around them. If a narcissist is put in an environment that only feeds their ego, it only makes thing worse.

What I just described above is an exact description of the Qianlong emperor, the man who picked Qingying (i.e. Ruyi) to be his Step-Empress. This is not a palace harem drama; this is a deep psychological analysis of a decaying relationship because of one man's complete inability to accept his own personal failures. From the moment Chinese emperors born, to the moment they are made Crown Prince, and then eventually gain the dragon throne, they are told that they have the Mandate of Heaven. Yes, the Emperor has advisors, rituals/rites, and customs they need to follow, but it's very evident that their origin is "divine". This has been the basis for many of the despotic regimes we have to come to know about in ancient Chinese history. Emperors deep down inside are supposed to realize they are flawed characters capable of making mistakes. It's implicit in the way the Chinese government is set-up; if the Emperor is truly a perfect "divine" being, why would they need ministers/advisors? A truly wise Emperor can admit their faults and shortcomings, and use the brainpower of intelligent and loyal ministers and military officials to come to a conclusion about a certain policy/decision. To circle back to the original topic: to complement a narcissist as "divine" is the worst thing one could possible do, as it feeds into their distorted reality. This is where everything goes downhill.

Ruyi was the only woman in Qianlong's life who dared challenge his personal failures. While all the other consorts/concubines in the harem are busy pampering the Emperor to help their clan, Ruyi was the only one who didn't care about power, wealth, or titles. Ruyi wanted one thing only: love. Very few of the consorts/concubines are actually sincere; they simply obey and prop up their clan/family. Ruyi is different. Ruyi was deeply sincere in her love for Qianlong, yet, she is treated like the most disloyal harem woman you could imagine. With narcissists, the only thing that works is pairing with another narcissist; the two egos feed off one another. Conversely, Ruyi is a complete empath; she truly cares about others, especially Hongli (the Qianlong Emperor). Ruyi is a 'straight-talker', and Qianlong even compliments her a few times during the show because of this trait. Ruyi's empath personality is ultimately her downfall. As time went on, it became clear that Qianlong viewed Ruyi as essentially a piece of property; something for him to "own" for his own pleasure. Qianlong's narcissism developed to such an extent that he couldn't believe that Ruyi didn't care for power and money; it almost seemed like an insult to him. Ruyi, the woman who I've supposedly loved for so long, not aspiring MY power and MY greatness? Well, I bet she secretly wants to spite me!

Some people claim Ruyi failed or was weak; I completely disagree. Even if she lost in the "physical world" so-to-speak, she is far more spiritually powerful than her pathetic husband. Ruyi did everything under her terms and only her terms, even if she paid the price and faced the consequences of doing so. I view Ruyi not just as a feminist figure, but an example everyone should follow. Ruyi really is the perfect role-model. While Ruyi may have had sad ending, there is no doubt she was far happier than Qianlong ever was.

If you ever want an example of who to be (Ruyi) and who not to be (Qianlong), I would not be able to think of a better show than Ruyi's Royal Love in the Palace. Remember this: always be yourself. Don't allow others to pressure you to do things you don't want to do. Always remain true to yourself, and commit to actions that you are fully convinced of. If you are not true to yourself, you don't know yourself, and ultimately, you will die without ever knowing who you really are as a person.

Not to mention, the show has: perfect music, astounding acting/casting, wonderful cinematography, great pacing, and managed to skip or reinvent many of the tropes we usually see in palace harem dramas. The show also has quite a bit of rewatchable scenes I love to come back to here-and-then.

If you've watched a lot of palace harem dramas and don't know if you should dedicate 87 episodes to another one, I implore to please watch this. You will not be disappointed.