Lost You Forever is a dark, beautiful, suspenseful and, poignant tale of intrigue, treachery and longing. This drama is immersive with its air of mystery, the shiver of danger, a whisper of regret and a sense of profound loss and longing that saturates every scene. It is a story about love but it is not a love story. It is a far more complex and expansive exposition of the many kinds of love and how it can be restraining and boundless at the same time.

Set in Dahuang, a magical, treacherous and unpredictable world where humans, demons and deities co-exist, two forsaken royal orphans vow to always cherish and protect one another. Shattered by a broken promise, Xiao Yao loses herself, misplaced during a time of great turmoil. She assumes the appearance of a man and lives among the humans and demons of Qingshui Town as the village fertility doctor. This is the most exciting arc because everyone has secrets and danger lurks around every corner. When cornered, Xiao Yao is most adept at grovellng, lying or poisoning her way out of trouble. Yet she is carefree, uninhibited and almost contented in Qingshui Town with her found family. Alas, destiny catches up with her as Cang Xuan, Tushan Jing and Xiang Liu all converge upon Qingshui Town, shattering her refuge.

The latter arcs take on a political tone as Cang Xuan emerges as a contender for the Xiyan throne with Xiao Yao clearing the path for him. They must establish Cang Xuan's support base among the restless and resentful Central Plains; where the noble clans and families have complicated blood ties to remnants of the defeated Chenrong state. Xiao Yao is the princess bride, a chess piece that Cang Xuan dangles temptingly in front of the scions of the powerful aristocratic families he seeks to win over. Marriage to him is simply a means to seal alliances. He supresses his heart's deepest, secret longing by sheer willpower. Zhang Wanyi adroitly portrays Cang Xuan as a consummate politician, a very dangerous, smiling tiger / xiàomiànhǔ 笑面虎 who has his enemies in a death lock before they even know it. Love is not of paramount importance for Cang Xuan and Xiao Yao, whose destinies are interlocking as a result of their childhood oath. They work towards a greater purpose with one heart and one mind. Anyone and everyone else is always subordinated to this purpose. They are both unattainable characters who have already carved out so much of themselves for each other that there is not much left for anyone else. This is why what Xiao Yao seeks is an unequal relationship with essentially, a doormat. The princess in her however prefers that it is a doormat made of fox fur rather than a rather foolish, entitled product of too much in-breeding.

Xiao Yao is by far the darkest, most complicated, and most independent female protagonist I have come across in Chinese dramas. This is an awesome and challenging role that Yang Zi delivers magnificently. As someone who had a huge allergic reaction to her earlier works, I am speechless at her portrayal. Her Wei Xiaoliu has decisively unseated Ni Ni's Fang Weizhi as the most convincingly acted female disguised as a male character. But it is her heart-wrenching homecoming scene that can squeeze tears from a rock that truly captures the depth of Xiao Yao's sense of abandonment and despair over the person she lost forever. I can't think of another actor that has so visibly taken their acting to a high a new level the way Yang Zi has. That said, no power on this earth will make me revisit her past roles though I enthusiastically look forward to her future ones.

Tushan Jing is the weakest link in this drama both in terms of how the character is written and portrayed. Despite his stunning physical appeal, this is not a role that a promising but inexperienced actor like Deng Wei is ready for. He pulls off a charismatic and endearing Ye Shiqi that melted Wei Xiaoliu's stone-cold and lonely heart. But he lacks depth and range and visibly struggles to get into character as Tushan Jing. His perpetual stricken, deer-in-the headlight expression threw me out of some of the drama's best, most intense moments. When the Haoling King assures his daughter that the shrewd and canny Tushan Jing must have already guessed her identity, the camera pans to a dumbfounded looking Tushan Jing! I burst out laughing even though I am absolutely sure I was not supposed to. It does not help that the character's weak and indecisive waffling does not match Tushan Jing's reputation as one of the most brilliant and cunning minds of Dahuang. There is clearly also a writing issue but it does not excuse the actor's inability to make the character seem deeply conflicted rather than just weak and lacking basic smarts and survival instincts. This is a glaring weakness that weighs on both my viewing experience and my rating.

Xiang Liu is Xiao Yao's greatest nightmare, a demon that she is bonded to by a spell no one fully grasps. He is her soul mate; they are both lonely, realistic characters trapped by a cause that is bigger than themselves and thus have no free will. Tan Jianci's masterful, subtly tragic rendering of this vicious, resentful and enigmatic nine-headed demon with a shockingly passionate heart has catapulted this fantastic actor to a new level recognition. His styling is spectacular but what takes my breath away is how with the angle of the head or a flicker of an eye, his expression can change from unholy amusement to vicious cruelty; from tortured to pure, unbridled joy and affection. I don't know how Xiang Liu's story ends but the fact that he is committed to a lost cause that pits him against the person Xiao Yao protects at all costs fills me with dread. I cannot see any scenario in which this ship does not somehow sink but my heart won't listen to my head that urges me to get on the lifeboat to safety before it is too late.

Season 1 sets up the backstory of a world torn apart by war and introduces many well-written and multi-faceted characters that were collateral damage in the conflict. Intricate relationships and debts that will at some point come due accumulate between the various stakeholders. After some draggy politicking, Season 1 ends triumphantly with an unexpected twist and sets the stage very nicely for Season 2. I expect Season 2 to reveal even more secrets from the past that will force Xiao Yao to make some impossible choices. How unbreakable is her bond with Cang Xuan? Will the tragic story of Chi Chen and the Xiling witch repeat itself? Will Deng Wei finally get his act together and give us the real Tushan Jing? Will Xiao Yao shock us with her marksmanship by shooting her rival in her black heart? I hope we will not have to wait too long to find out. At the same time, I am grateful that this breaks in a good place for a time out. I have come to care too much for these characters and something tells me that this is the kind of story where even those who get what they want may not truly want what they get.

So far, Lost You Forever is the most addictive and immersive drama I have watched in 2023. I rate this a 9.0 for now because there are some notable flaws but if Season 2 comes together well, there is scope for me to revise it up.