Writer/Director Celine Song brought out the Kdrama tropes in her directorial film debut Past Lives. She took such tropes as childhood connection (destiny!), lovestruck second male lead, and the much-maligned love triangle and used them in fresh ways. The film I was expecting and the film that played out before me were quite different.

Na Young and Hae Sung are best buddies at the age of twelve. Then her family emigrates to Canada separating the two children. Twelve years later Na Young, now called Nora, looks up old friends on a lark, including Hae Sung. The two reconnect via computer and begin conversing. Hae Sung wants her to come to Korea for a visit and she wants him to come to New York City where she lives. Feeling at an impasse in her life she goes on a break from Hae Sung. Twelve years later, now at the age of 36, Hae Sung comes to NYC to visit the married Na Young.

I dreaded Nora’s husband, Arthur, being portrayed as the rich, abusive or disinterested white guy standing in the way of the sacred childhood connection. I laughed when Arthur said their situation would make a great story, “I would be the evil white American husband standing in the way of destiny. I’m the guy you leave when your ex-lover comes to take you away.” In reality, Arthur was a loving, generous husband, who was learning Korean to better connect with his wife. He didn’t throw a jealous hissy fit when Hae Sung came to town. He respected Nora enough to let her do what she needed to.

Hae Sung arrived in town, obviously still in love with Na Young. Or was he only in love with the idealized version of her? He hadn’t spent any time with her since she was a child. He still lived with his parents and considered himself too ordinary. Despite working, he hadn’t made enough money to marry and had recently broken up with his longtime girlfriend. It didn’t help that handsome Yoo Teo looked his age (42) and not 36 which further made me wonder about his hesitancy with life choices.

The star of the film was Na Young/Nora. She had always had dreams and goals and was highly competitive. She was a playwright and working out her own destiny. The choices she’d made weren’t easy but she knew where she wanted to go and what she wanted to do. That didn’t mean she was cold and calculating. She’d loved Hae Sung as a child and maybe even as an adult. But she also loved her husband and was funny and affectionate with him. Nora made the choices that were right for her, no excuses, and actually seemed satisfied with her decisions. After making the painful decision to go on the break with Hae Sung she never showed any regret. That didn’t mean she didn’t miss him or Seoul, and maybe more importantly, who she was in Seoul. As an immigrant, she had two selves, and both were authentic and important. Hae Sung helped her remember the little girl from Seoul she’d left behind.

Greta Lee gave a lovely nuanced performance as Na Young/Nora. Without tears and histrionics, she delicately showed her character working through where she wanted to be, who she wanted to be with, and more importantly---who she wanted to be. Joe Magara made Arthur a sympathetic three-dimensional character subtly playing out a variety of emotions. Yoo Teo brought a vulnerability to Hae Sung as a man who had to take one last chance to see his childhood love.

This film was far less a love triangle and more one of Nora’s self-discovery and reconnecting with her past and ethnic identity. Many people have that “what could have been” someone in their life. But often that person is in the perfected past of memory and not the imperfect reality of the present. Past Lives gave us mature, honest adults coming to the realization of what doors needed to be closed, opened, and left slightly ajar.

25 August 2024



*********************spoiler******************

















Dude, 24 years? That is why you ended up the second lead. Luck and love favor the bold!