I am very conflicted because a huge part of me didn't want to enjoy this. However, did I end up getting excited and counting down the minutes every week? Yes, I did.

Let me start by saying that I don't get the draw in BL for all these brothers falling in love types of stories. I know they never technically cross the line of incest, but if you need to add 'technically' before a word like 'incest', it's definitely too close to that line for my comfort. Which is why I was pretty certain I wouldn't be enjoying this series at all. So, what happened?

Good acting, phenomenal chemistry, and emotional storytelling happened, I suppose. This is one of the best acted shows I've seen. Chris is outstanding in the role of Qian. While he's portraying a pretty stoic character, he doesn't fall into the same issue of coming across comical or uncharismatic that most other actors fall into. He plays the role with nuance and behind his eyes, the emotion is always clear to see. Truly a wonderful job and other actors refusing to move any facial muscles when portraying similar characters should take note. Kurt was great as Yuan as well, and the two had impeccable chemistry. The acting of the side characters was all great too. There wasn't one weak link in this, at least not as far as I noticed. I wish other shows put that much emphasis on acting and chemistry, instead of just hitting us over the head with the same couples who struggle to get emotion across or have the chemistry of two dead fish kissing.

The storytelling was mostly well done too. There were some hiccups, like the gang storyline coming back for no reason other than a bit of drama. But all in all, it had deep emotions, actual characters instead of just stereotypes, and interesting dynamics. So it was easy to look past the imperfections.

The editing however... Boy oh boy. Whoever edited this thing really did the acting and the emotional beats dirty. Chris and Kurt are perfectly capable of carrying an emotional scene. There is no need to stuff in as many flashbacks as you can. It doesn't add emotion, it just takes away from it. The worst editing mistake was adding flashbacks of Yuan as A CHILD during their sex scene. Like please... I do not want to see the face of a child between scenes of them kissing and taking each others clothes off. Who's idea was that???? They honestly need to go to jail. This was supposed to be the emotional climax of the story. Yuan has literally been pining over Qian for soooo many years, and Qian has been trying to restrain himself for a long time. Now, they finally let go of everything and just give in to each other. It's beautiful, it's raw, it's emotion-- BOOM, HAVE A FLASHBACK TO YUAN AS A CHILD!! It was jarring. The scene of them waking up together in bed the next morning, cuddling and kissing, actually felt more emotional than the whole kissing scene did. Because it was just them with their great acting and great chemistry, not interrupted by weird scene cuts, flashbacks, or the overuse of the (admittedly beautiful) OST.

The childhood flashbacks between kissing and touching are part of an even bigger problem for me. I don't actually know how far apart in age the characters are supposed to be, but the way the story portrayed it, it seems like quite a bit of an age gap to me. On top of that, Qian basically raised Yuan. Sure, they didn't know each other since birth. But Qian took a parental role in Yuan's life from a childhood age. Which made my alarms go off because if someone told me this story, I'd definitely feel like there's a grooming issue. I know that Yuan fell for Qian without Qian having any intention of making that happen. But still, there's just something about the age difference and the raising him that doesn't sit right with me. I took a bigger issue with that than the actual "and they were brothers!" thing. Which is a whole other thing to unpack, but I don't really feel like doing that. Because the more I think about it all, the more it makes me feel iffy. If this were an actual real life situation, I'd definitely be very concerned about it. Luckily, it's just fiction though, so I can push down those thoughts with all the positives mentioned above. But it still makes me feel sort of weird about liking the whole thing as much as I did...

Like I said, it's a guilty pleasure. I'm aware of the issues, and I think if you are too, there's nothing wrong with enjoying this. As long as we view things critically and understand that in real life, things might need to be handled differently, it's perfectly fine to aww at this story. It had character and raw emotion and was so well acted. So, would I recommend this to anyone? I'd say give it a try, and if you feel too uncomfortable, just toss it aside. But I do think it's worth a chance, even if you - like me - suspect this isn't your cup of tea. If you turn off the critical side of your brain, you might just end up enjoying this as much as I did.