a perfect example of you can't have a cake and eat it too

The premise sounded very interesting and I'm always open for more BLs that try to shed some light onto the shadiness of this industry. But it falls into the same trap as many before. This show tries to call out and appeal to the same audience.

This show has twenty episodes (which is honestly a lot for BL standards) and they are divided into four stories (Story 1- Neu Ship, Story 2 - War of Managers, Story 3 - Y-Idol, and Story 4 - Wife). This show tries to create a soft transition from one story to the other by introducing the main characters of the following story in the current story and only semi-succeeds, but we'll get to that.

Each of these 5-episode stories tackle a specific issue and try to deal with it while also focusing on a couple (which is always the main two characters). It is always told from one of the main guys' perspective. If I had to rank these stories from best to worst it would look like this: Y-Idol, Wife, New Ship, and War of Managers. Y-Idol and Wife are pretty much interchangably since they were both done well one has a weaker beginning while the other has a weak ending and it's just whatever you prefer more, I guess. And I know that many people rated New Ship way higher than that but the truth is that it's been months ever since i've watched this story and I only remember bits and pieces and these bits and pieces didn't make me rate this show any higher than that. But let's go into each one of them, shall we?

*Story 1 - New Ship with Pan and Nott*
We jump right in with the very first episode tackling a very heavy topic. Pan is dealing with all the fame he got with the hit series and now they are shooting season 2 but oh no, there is a new ship coming into town and they threaten to take some spotlight from them. Also, he is casually hooking up with his on-screen partner and is on his best way to develop real feelings for him. And if that wasn't already a bad enough combo, his manager offers him to whoever gives her enough money, letting them do whatever with him basically in exchange for sponsorship.

I wish we would've focused more and Pan and his negative experiences with the industry. We know that his manager was selling him out to sponsors and we often get scenes of him aggressively cleaning himself and whatever parts people have touched of him and things he owns. So it felt like there was a big story there that they only touched on very lightly. We didn't see much of Nott outside of him being his on-screen partner and his love interest. Which seems to be a pattern in this show. It was just a big mess. And I'm glad that Pan decided to take some time off to heal and get some rest. I think that the story itself is worth being told but it was all so messy and at times confusing that it didn't do it justice. The acting however was great. Billy and Seng (Billy specifically) were acting their asses off. They brought these characters to live and especially with all these difficult scenes Billy got, he did a phantastic job.

*Story 2 - War of Managers with Gus and Bew*
In this story we focus on the relationships the actors have with their managers a little more than in the first one. The managers are friends and once they turn on each other and become enemies Gus and Bew and their careers suffer because of it.

Gus and Bew are introduced to us in the first story already but as background characters only getting a few scenes. They are the second couple in a second season BL that the two guys from Story 1 are leading in. Then, when more and more spotlight is shifted away from Pan and Nott and more and more spotlight falls onto Gus and Bew, they also get more and more NC scenes and attention from fans. They are both under quite some pressure to perform and to deliver, to make their fans happy and to stay relevant. The managers are not holding back to turn on their friend to get an opportunity for their actor to shine. This puts a strain on Gus's and Bew's work-and rl-relationship since they are constantly pitted against each other. Bew and Gus hook up quite at the beginning of their story and lead a secret relationship, but as it turns out it was all orchestrated by the managers who wanted them to... be together to have better chemistry? And there also is a mysterious girl blogging about them like gossip girl and is ready to reveal all their secrets.

All in all, this story was messy, a different kind of mess than Story 1, uniquely messy if you will. I would've loved an entire story about the fact that Bew and Gus were the first BL couple to publicy confirm their relationsip because I feel like this would be a huge thing and an interesting story to tell. Their acting was fine, nothing outstanding or particularly worth pointing out, but it was fine.

*Story 3 - Y-Idol with Peak and Kla*
It really surprised me that this show made it this high on my ranking, because I felt like this would be my least favorite by just reading the premise. But while it did feel a little stretched out, it was filled with opportunities that were either used or thrown away.

In the third story we focus on a korean-idol-surviver-show-esque premise. With three chosen BL couples competing against each other and whoever wins gets a role in an upcoming BL series, which means big fame and big money. Peak is struggling big time putting up a fake happy smile and creating ship content with his ship-partner Kla. Throuought the story we see Peak slowly using more and more tricks to stay relevant and gain attention, even faking an injury and then actually hurting himself so he isn't exposed. He is also in a constant fight with Achi, the guy who seems to be his biggest rival. Who seems to be able to look through all his tricks and can be quite mean at times.

Peak and Kla hook up one day which complicates their relationship and their performance as neither of them is ready to admit their feelings towards each other. In the end, Peak breaks under the pressure and all his lies and confesses. The votes are manipulated and Achi and his ship win the show.

*Story 4 - Wife with Achi and Most*
In the fourth and final story we focus on the winners of the Y-Idol tv show from Story 3. Achi and Most are now staring as the main couple in their own BL and it seems to go great. Achi and Most are very close and manage to motivate and encourage each other. Then, a new girl comes into the mix and the duo turns quickly into a trio. The new girl is Fern and she quickly befriends Achi and Most and we find out that she was sent there to keep an eye on them to not fall in love by the producer (P who we already know from Y-Idol) but also to create some fan content and boost their popularity. At first everything goes well, until Achi and Fern hook up and start a secret relationship. And because Achi just can't keep it in his pants, once Most realises his feelings for Achi and tells him about it, they hook up as well. Only that their relationship status isn't official and they have a sort of fwb situation going on. The cast and crew are whispering about their chemistry and that their might be more to their relationship than work.

Fern is getting more and more suspicous of the type of relationship Most and Achi have and them flirting with each other behind the camera doesn't really help either. Once she catches Most and Achi having sex (in a shower on set... it's... these people are too horny and think only with their private parts *sigh*) the truth is finally revealed. They both break up with him and from that moment on things fall apart. P finds out about Achi hooking up with Fern and fires her, news break out and now the whole internet knows about the affair between Achi and Fern, at the press conference Achi outs Fern as trans and reassures that their relationship ended.

We then get a little scene with Achi and Fern meeting up and they have the most confusing talk and I don't konw what's going on anymore. Basically they are hiting at them planning most of these things. They shake hands in a "we good now" way and that's the last thing we see about them and the last time we hear about Fern. Whatever happens to her or her career remains a mystery.

We get one last scene between Achi and Most where they are offered a second season deal since the first one did surprisingly well. We cut to three months later and both Achi and Most have yet to decide if they will do the second season or not. Most is like "my answer was clear from the very start. I'm in." while Achi seems hesitant. Most and Achi sort of make up, Achi finally owning up to the shit he pulled and Most forgiving him. After that there is no season 2 happening and we have to sort of fill in the gaps ourselves.

*The Reunion*
The last few minutes are a big reunion with all cast members at the 13. Greatest Y-Awards. A few people are not at the award show though. One of them is Most, through a video message we find out that Most is no longer persuing a career as an actor and instead focuses on becoming a musician (yeah I don't know how that happened either).

P wins the prize for most popular Y-actor and it's insinuated that he manipulated the results. He uses the spotlight to also introduce his new BL show with his ship partner. Which seems to be a huge surprise since many thought he would not act in another BL again. Also there seems to be some unresolved tension between P and his ship partner but it's never mentioned again. Then, big plot twist, turns out the Twitter gossip girl was HIM ALL ALONG! End credits roll.

*The Good and The Bad*
-Something this show does very well is make you feel sympathy for the characters, especially the mains that do the most shit. Which is really important given that everyone in this show is not 100% good and fucks up in one way or another.

-This show loves to tease you with the characters making out and then someone screams "cut!" and you are like "Ah, okay so this was for their show" which happens way too often and it takes a while until you get used to it, but since this was the first story it was new to me and I had to get the hang of it first.

-A pattern that you might have noticed by now is that no couple get's a fairytale happy ending. Which fits the dark, realistic tone it is set in. And I guess it's for everyone else to decide whether they like that or not. I am a sucker for happy endings but I didn't mind as much, given that this show tried to be dark and more realistic.

-The comments and the overall portrayal of fans was pretty spot-on. Sure, there were a few unrealistic instances but for the most part, it seemed realistic. I also appreciated that they translated them so we could understand the ones that weren't in English. Even though I have to say that I would've appreciated if they had placed the translations a little differently like in a smaller font in the upper part of the screen, because I had to watch so many scenes where actors were doing lives or a press conference and half of my screen was covered in text.

-While I did like that this BL tackled more issues and divided the show in 4 stories, they felt all very disconnected. Each story is a standalone which is fine, but makes them feel isolated. You don't see or hear anything from Pan and Nott for like fifteen episodes until they show up in the very last few minutes of the final. And you tend to forget. I can't remember the first story as well as the last one, because I haven't heard or seen anything about it in months. I saw many people say that this show had too much going on and maybe it would've done better with fewer episodes and maybe letting a few stories happen parallel, to connect them a little better.

-While it does mention that NC and fan service is getting more and more and is a problem for the actors for mulitple reasons, this show features many NC scenes. Sometimes it's used to highlight an issue (like directors and people behind the camera mocking NC scenes will still working them in because they know sex sells). It's clear that this show had to be careful with calling out some certain parts of the industry as they were playing right into it. They lampshade a few important issues but since this show is still a BL after all, can't expose them for what they are. They talk about how tiring fan service is and how the producers often rely on NC scenes and include more of them to make their shows a hit, but they themselves include quite a few NC scenes in every story (most noteably in the last story imo). And that's the big problem with most of these call-out-BLs. They can never fully commit, because they fear to lose the audience. And that's why often the messages and morals of the stories were undermined and fell flat, because they couldn't fully commit. I'm not saying that it's impossible to create a BL that calls out BLs and the BL industry, but it's certainly not easy and this particular show was suffering because of it.

-The thing is that this show is after all a drama and not a documentary of any sorts and therefore the lines between "these are stories that actually happened" and "this is fiction and we dramatize and sensationalize a few parts of it for TV". And therefore we quickly jump to the conclusion that every bit of the stories that we brush off as unbelieveable are automatifally fake, even though they probably are very real to some extent.

-To end this review on a good note: Aside from the Twitter posts and forums and whatnot, the show uses a specific tool to question us (the audience). It shows us polls from a gossip girl-like user without ever telling us the results. Questions like "Do you think that NC scenes and fanservice can lead to actors falling in love?" And there is no right answer and this show is also not here to give it to you. They are used to make you think for yourself, maybe question what you belief. It's a clever tool that I wish was used a little more during the show. The last thing we see right before the credits roll is actually a twitter poll. Right after We find out that P is the mastermind behind it all, we get one last twitter poll. "Do you think the stories are based on real life or made up?" So, after all, it's up to the viewer to decide what to believe. And end credits roll. I think it's a fantastic way to end this show. A fantastic tool over all.

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