They had us in the first 29 episodes I'm not gonna lie

This review will cover up to the last episode, with a rant about the ending at the end. I'll avoid spoilers until then.

This drama is a unique twist on the currently popular trope of "I became a villain in a novel," except here our FL, Hua Qiang, isn't a self-aware book character but the villain herself who has a chance to redo the 2 years of her life that originally led to her and her family's death. She basically was the cliché antagonist in a c-drama who devoted all her efforts into an unrequited love, Zhong Zelan (who is a block of wood at that), and is overthrown by him and the "true" perfect female lead, Mu Yao, (who has such resting evil face it's hilarious, and also is super skilled at martial arts because she is our perfect wronged main). Her jealousy along with her father's greed, her brothers rampant misogyny, and her mother's coddling of him, lead to everyone dying.

But then she wakes up 2 years earlier, just as she's been married to ZZL. The past her tricked him into marrying her, but she knows now that he ain't worth it and her only wish is to live a safe and happy life with her family, but the problem is that they haven't experienced the death of everyone they love so they basically brush her worries and desires off .

HQ is so likeable. She's strong and ready to own up to her mistakes, and also find out who she actually is outside of her decade long obsession with a man who was not worth it. She's flawed sometimes but trying so hard, and mostly feels like she's fighting alone since no one else knows what the future may bring.

Everyone in this show is morally grey. Her family would be 1 dimensional villains in most dramas, but here they are loving parents and siblings even if to the outside world they're evil. MY and ZZL took u way too much screentime and honestly if your husband treats his ex the way ZZL treats HQ please run.

The surprise ML, Zhong XiWu, is the lord of the business HQ's dad works for, and he sort of is in the shadows watching this new and improved HQ, until he's a proper love interest. Then he becomes controlling, overbearing, and dangerous He basically makes decisions for her and about her with no consideration for her wishes, constantly talking about just wanting to "have her by his side," treating her as someone with no autonomy.

Then there's my boy Hua RongZhou. I fell in love at first beggar-y sight. He's an adorable cinnamon roll/puppy dog and must be protected at all costs. His trauma dump backstory is a little much but his devotion and silent bodyguard protection and small smiles and true support kept me going.

This drama kept me guessing, I never knew where it would go and I loved that until....

SPOILERS AHEAD

...it was all a dream. She never went back in time but was in a coma for over 2 years while ZXW cared for her. The major problem is that we don't actually know anything about him then. We just know he's the lord and he loves her, but we know nothing of who he actually is or why we should root for him as endgame. We never see more than a couple of scenes of what he actually was like, and honestly caring for someone's comatose body who barely knew you existed with so much devotion and expectation is kinda yikes for me. Just leave out an endgame romance if you want to stick this weird ending where HZR DOESN'T EXIST

That is the second huge problem. they wrote our boy HRZ as a dreamed up hallucination because HQ felt no one could love her. The show is basically saying, "see this sweet boy who is super devoted and supportive but also is learning to stand up for himself, and who can give her the free, happy and simple life she wants? Well, that is obviously just a figment of her imagination and she needs to wake up to the harsh reality" that ZXW (who we basically know nothing about in the real world). She decides to treat HRZ as a piece of herself that wanted to love and support herself.

oh, and the grand princess (ZXW's mother) is amazing until the twist where she becomes the typical matriarch villain, as opposed to a complex character of an older woman torn between her appreciation of HQ as a fellow woman trying to forge her own path who she genuinely likes, and her own responsibilities. She's so kind and interesting until the twist ending and I hated it.

Apparently this ending was shoved in to get through censorship, but they didn't change the story enough for it to make sense... I loved the story until this ending twist. Everyone was growing, and a lot of the "dream" endings were bittersweet and felt realistic. But now this was all a dream to make herself cope? So much shit still happened, and she worked so hard for the happiness, peace, and freedom she wanted. Almost everyone was learning and growing, and finding a world away from greed, money, power, and revenge. If this show ended where apparently the book ended it would be basically perfect imo.

SPOILERS OVER

This drama really moved me and made me feel and think (and binge watch it so quickly). I really do recommend it. It has such a unique take on reincarnation as a villain, and to me did a beautiful job showing why women (and and vulnerable group) need to stick together for all our sakes, and how important it is to choose kindness and compassion over selfishness and greed. I just really really loved the first 29 episodes, and it was pretty much a perfect drama until then for me.

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