Victims of Domestic Abuse do not Watch!!

Let me preface this by saying that every single actor in this was on point. The writing was stellar, the characters had depth and flaws galore. They were so human and, at times, painfully so. I enjoyed the music and the pacing of the show was, as most others have commented on, slow but it was not to the point where it bored me. The complicated relationships between the sisters, the mothers and the dissection of family dynamics was very enjoyable to me as well as the romance aspect. There was a point though where I started caring less about the main character and growing more and more frustrated with her and her victim mentality. I really enjoy Park Min Young's acting and she played this character really, really well so this isn't a commentary on that. However the character arc and development of Hae Won was the most frustrating thing and in the end I can't say I felt good about how it ended or that I even liked her at all the way I did at the beginning. This has mostly to do with the ending episode and how she dealt with finding out the truth about her mother, aunt, and father. Also the way the show dealt with victims, sufferers of mental illness, and other subjects-- I was not about it. It almost seemed to glorify it in a way? Or twist it so it seemed like the victims fault. If you get to the end of this please, let me know what you think.

The following contains major spoilers and TW for mentions of domestic abuse.

I did like Hae Won's inability to forgive Kim Bo Young at first. I thought and still believe that it was justified. Kim Bo Young was in the wrong and should have apologized outright instead of saying it was just a 'mistake' it was truly a betrayal and the fact that the friend tried to turn it around as if she was the victim was ridiculous. That mistake was a monumental one which lead to Hae Won being made out to be a pariah in school. Hae Won was clearly depressed and needed therapy but I know that Korea and mental health is a touchy subject so I'll leave it at that. But Bo Young couldn't just apologize and own up to her mistake and on top of that we later come to find out that she believes herself to have been slighted by Hae Won...
However, the longer that conflict was drawn out I started to get a little... annoyed with the way these two resolved conflict in their interpersonal relationships. Hae Won especially began to seem cruel, cold, selfish, and unforgiving...unnecessarily so. A little hypocritical as well.

THE BIG ISSUE with Hae Won:
The way she dealt with finding out what happened between her father, mother, and aunt. I found myself thinking "guess she'd rather have been raised by her abusive father who killed her aunt (Shim Myung Yeo) and mother than the other way around." Was this fair of me to think? Probably not. I realize that she had been lied to, kept in the dark since that incident but when has she ever been forthright with her own secrets, trauma, and life? I never saw her have a conversation with anyone except Eun Sub about the way she was feeling or the things she was going through. So why does she get to expect that out of others? Her mother was so in the wrong, I get that, but she was a victim of domestic abuse and the drama, at least to me, tried to pin the blame on her. AS if she was at fault for being abused. "Why didn't you leave?" "I felt sorry for him." Anyone thinking that this means that she consented to being physical abused, please don't believe that anymore. This is how abuse works, it's insidious and it messes with your self views. A lot of abused people stay with their abuser for various reasons, that doesn't mean that the victim is not a victim anymore.
Further, the fact that, to my understanding, Korea would have locked up the Aunt for x amount of years for defending her own safety and the safety of a beloved sisters knocks me tf out. That man was swinging away at them, threatening them with violence and death and yet the mother was locked up for seven years and the sister felt guilty over killing the man. THEN add on top of all of that, after years and years of unresolved trauma and living in misery, when Hae Won finds out the truth instead of acting like a compassionate human being she basically tells her aunt that she's dead to her. For an accident. A mistake. Like a true mistake that disrupted all happiness for Shim Myung Yeo and she's been paying for it ever since but Hae Won takes that truth and does what with it? Acts like a total brat.

I would love, love someone to discuss this with me either in agreement or disagreement (respectfully) because I am completely blown away by how much this drama got me angry and upset by the end. What kind of commentary is that? What are we supposed to take away from this?

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