i’m gonna die

so many details i don’t think any amount of rewatching could make it 100% clear. it’s tense and scary during the adults povs. i don’t think ive ever been so antsy in my entire life watching a movie. but then suddenly that all goes away when the kids pov hit. i think the entire time i was expecting an answer to everything that was going on and while we saw all the povs, we never really got one, and i feel like it’s kinda the point? even the ending is as ambiguous as it was during the start. but while the movie started with little to no hope and just that overwhelming feeling that this is going to go badly, the ending is filled with so much hope and happiness. but i still sobbed so so hard thinking that it was sad. but it wasn’t really though.

i think i expected the worst to happen because that’s what every one else expected. you could tell the mom was loosing hope. so much to the point where every time she lost sight of minato, she thought he had died. and the teacher had lost all hope in the people around him that he had no strength for himself. but we don’t really think about those things as a kid. we don’t think about those around us and how sad our lives are getting. it’s a type of innocence i didn’t know could be captured this well until i watched this movie.

i saw somewhere that there’s a scene of the kids looking back into the camera as the last shot and im so so glad they didn’t keep that in. in the last scene, they never look back, running towards the place where a gate used to stand. and while ambiguous, it makes it even more happy. they are running, not thinking of anyone but themselves, towards a place that’s void of obsticles and things holding them back. there is no possibility of any “monsters” around them. by getting through the storm, they were able to see a life of no gate blocking them.

the director said they made this on the basis that they are alive, but that in the end it’s up to the viewers. and i think that keeping them alive is so so so much more powerful than killing them. so many queer stories end on the basis of someone dying or just being depressing in general. but for this to have such an emotional story and it still turning out happy, is more powerful and meaningful.
i think the whole basis of this movie is made to make people think the ending will be of the boys being “reincarnated” or being together but in a different life. but i don’t think thats what the boys meant when talking about those things. they never wanted to leave their lives, they never wanted to be reincarnated, they just wanted to be together. and by the end, they are finally able to do that. they get to run off into the distance and have it actually mean a happy ending, and have it actually be the story of their lives.

my favorite line is like the last line of the movie when hoshikawa asks whether they’ve been reincarnated or not.

“were we reborn?”
“there’s no such thing as reincarnation”

“we weren’t?”
“we weren’t, we are still the same.”

i just think that this being the last line of the movie just solidifies the fact that it’s a happy ending. they don’t need different lives or different bodies. they can be happy and hopeful now in this life.

there’s so much going on in this movie i’m so surprised it was all packing into 2 hours. each person has their own life and own view on the things happening around them. it’s almost as if every single part is its own story.

idk this felt so magical i felt like i was flying or something. and i so genuinely thought i was going to leave this movie so depressed but it’s like the opposite and this rarely ever happens with these types of movies so im kinda over the moon right now.

but i still did cry a lot so im gonna nap!!!!!!!!!!

and NO IM NOT IN DENIAL THEY DIDNT DIE DONT BE SILLY!!!!

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